Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
