Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize