My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
