What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
