Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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