Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
