She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
So. Much. Porn.
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