The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
