i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
