the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize