i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize