How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
