Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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