Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
