Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
