i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
