Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
