ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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