my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
