He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
