I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
