he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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