508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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