i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
