Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
