and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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