VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
