i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
