just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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