Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
