What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize