i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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