THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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