Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
