like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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