On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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