Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
