I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
