Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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