Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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