Your mouth is God's brothel.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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