the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
this hospital has no fireball
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
