You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize