Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
