At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
