I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
