In the future we'll all be gay
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
