She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
