is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
