I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
