it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
