i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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