so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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