and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
