well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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