don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
