his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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