we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
