Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
