i jhust puked up my retainher.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
