I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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