Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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