I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
handjob tips. give me some.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
