ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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