Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
