he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
