Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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