After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
