dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
