I think im going to throw up on grandma
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
